The Way We Were
by catsandsvu
Summary: Two dying stars arrive upon Princenton-Plainsboro, in the midst of hospital scandals and medical devastation upon House's team. SMUT coming up!  :D Rated T for Babs's nasty mouth.  :D
1. Chapter 1  Don't Rain On My Parade

Disclaimer: I don't own the House characters. I own the story, and the rights to it. I also like to call Barbra mine. So we'll end the disclaimer here.

They all sat around the table in the office discussing the hospital's latest controversy, which was obviously on their schedule. Rissa Kail, a patient who's unborn infant needed surgery. She was five months along in her pregnancy and was obviously willing to do anything. Including technically giving birth twice to the same child. House limped in.

"Where the hell have you been?" Foreman asked, raising his voice at House. "We've been waiting for you for an hour."

"Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter. Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter." He threw a file on the table. "69 year old woman. Coughing blood. Erratic respiratory function. Random fainting. Go."

"House. We have a case. We can't just throw up this one for someone with pneumonia or something." Foreman argued, picking up the file on the table. Thirteen walked into the room.

"I just gave the patient 10cc's of Delotid. I don't think we can hold this out too much longer. Where's the form she has to-"

"House. Really?" Taub asked, interrupting, reading the file over Foreman's shoulder.

"I got the consent from Kail." Chase held up the papers, walking into the room.

House stood up. "Field trip, boys and girls." House said, and walked out of the room. Foreman and Taub eagerly followed. Chase looked at Thirteen, they both shrugged and followed behind.

They took the elevator a floor up, to the cardiology wing, and stepped out. Everyone in the lobby was talking to each other, obviously about something fascinating. House and his doctors turned down the hallway and walked toward room 672. A tall man with white hair stepped out, pinching the bridge of his nose squeezing his eyes shut, like he had a headache. A brown haired man ran past House's team.

"Jim. Is she okay?" The guy grabbed the white-haired man's arm. He looked at the man with brown hair.

"I don't know, Jason-" Jim paused and looked up at House. He walked toward the team, and shook House's hand. Jason lingered back, shock on his face.

"I'm her huband. Are you the one who has her case?" He cleared his throat of all tears, and his stance straighter.

"Well, that depends. We don't know which one of is cutting into her yet-" Jim grabbed House by the arms, his face close to House.

"I don't need that sarcastic bullshit, you son of a bitch. That's my wife. I don't have a problem filing a malpractice suit. Find out what's wrong with her. Find it now." Jim let go of House, and stormed past the team.

"Call me, honey!" House called toward him. Jason raced toward him and grabbed his arm. House's team watched as the two men walked into the elevator with their arms around each other.

"Jim!" A woman weakly called out from the room. House walked closer to her room and turned to his employees. He smiled a very House-like smile and opened the door. His team followed in behind him.

"Oh, God." The woman in bed put her long-fingernailed hand over her eyes. Her IV got stuck on the side of her bed. "Don't you people have better things to do than harass me?" She uttered, and fixed the IV from pulling. House, Taub, Thirteen and Foreman quickly removed the smiles from their faces. Chase stood behind them all, uninterested.

"Nope. Tuesdays are our slow days." House remarked and took down her empty IV bag.

"Where's my husband?" Barbra Streisand leaned forward and tried to see out of the glass window into the hallway, which had curtains covering it. "Would you open that?" She pointed at Taub, and brushed her highlighted blonde hair out of her face. Taub opened the curtains, and Barbra's face turned disgusted. Doctors and nurses crowded around outside the window, were caught, scattered across the lobby, quickly.

"Son of a bitch. Close those fucking curtains." She groaned and leaned back. "So glad privacy is offered in a hospital." She threw a finger in the direction of the door, motioning for everyone to leave at that moment. House put her new IV bag up and turned around only to see Taub still standing there.

"You're my kind of woman. Old, rich, and narcissistic." House sarcastically declared, and walked out of the room. Taub whispered to House as they walked out of the room. "Way better than the Kail case."

Very short, I know. But, I'm addicted. More to come. :D


	2. Chapter 2  Visitor

Chapter Twoooo! (: Review it. Dooo itttt. Next chapter, is all about Thirteen!

Jim walked into Barbra's room, where she was asleep, with her hands folded beneath her head. Jason walked in behind him. Tears were slipping out of her closed eyes.

"Barbra. Jason's here." Jim notified her quietly. He walked to the right side of her bed and brushed back her hair. She opened her eyes, and leaned forward. He kissed her forehead, and kissed her lips and she weakly kissed him back. His arm draped across her waist, and her arm laid over his left shoulder. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and pulled him closer to her, so she could kiss him again. She held his face between her hands. He leaned forward.

"I love you." He whispered into her ear.

"I love you back." She whispered and smiled with her eyes closed. He held her lips with his once more, and backed away to let his step-son through.

"Sorry we woke you, Ma." Jason kissed her forehead, and knelt beside her.

"I wasn't sleeping, honey. Just resting my eyes, really." She wiped a hand across her forehead.

"I'm going to make a few calls, Barbra. I'll be back shortly." Jim patted her hand and walked toward the elevator. Barbra wrapped an arm around Jason's neck.

"I'm glad you're here." She smiled and let him go.

"I'm not so glad to be _here._" He gestured around them. She sighed in agreement.

"Well, I'm making the best of the worst possible situation." She glared at the window where she presumed people were standing. "I think I hate the lack of privacy more than the illness." She muttered with no hint of sarcasm. He nodded in agreement. His phone chimed, and he flipped it open.

"You have a guest arriving." Jason showed her text message. She groaned.

"What the hell is she doing all the way out here? Isn't she supposed to be singing in a hotel in the desert? God." She laughed through her annoyance. Jason laughed with her.

"I think I might have emailed her when she asked about you being sick in an article she read." He admitted, texting her back. Barbra stood up and went to a mirror and brushed her hair back into a ponytail.

"Mom. Sit down. Are you even kidding me? You're in a hospital and worried about your looks." He patronized her. She stuck her tounge out at him, and turned back to brushing her hair. She sat down in a loveseat across from her bed with her IV rack beside her.

"I never thought that I'd end up in a hospital before I was dead." She joked and flipped open her book. Jason sat down on the chair beside her.

While she was reading her book, he looked up at the door and nodded. She turned over and saw Celine Dion walking in with flowers. Celine ran over and gave Barbra a one-armed hug, before placing Barbra's favorite flowers on the table beside her.

"Oh, God." Barbra laughed and put her hand on Celine's bulging belly. She was eight months pregnant with twin boys. She looked over at the flowers and gasped. "Thank you, darling. Oh, my sweetheart!" She held Celine's hand. Celine bent down and kissed Barbra's cheek.

"How are you?" She asked, the concern visible on her face. She sat beside Barbra on the hospital loveseat.

"Oh, I'm okay. This is New Jersey. They know how to treat the jews." She held up her hand with an IV in it. Celine held that hand between hers.

"Mom, I'm going to call dad. I'll be right back." Jason kissed her cheek and left the room to go outside.

"I hope they're letting you rest, Barbra." Celine sighed at Babs's tired face.

"They're letting me sleep about as much as a vampire." She yawned, unintentionally proving her point. Celine shifted uncomfortably and reached into her purse and pulled out a card. Barbra laughed. Her dog's footprint on a piece of paper that said 'I miss you, Mamala.' Very Jewish.

"Oh, thanks. That's so cute." She laughed and gave the paper to Jason to hang up. "You're a skinny thing, you are." Barbra patted Celine's leg. "Besides the whole belly thing, that is." She laughed.

"Yeah, you'd think." Celine laughed and pulled her short leg up slightly to reveal the Spanx she was wearing. They giggled together, and an akward silence crept in a few moments before a paparazzi did. He stood in the door taking pictures, and Jason jumped up immediately.

"Security!" He yelled as he pushed the photographer out of the room, and struggled to take the camera. The two women gasped and Jason kicked the door shut with his foot. They listened as extra feet pounded into the hallway, removing the unwanted visitor.

"It's like that all god blessed day." Barbra yelled and threw her hand at the door. Celine opened her mouth to respond, when Barbra's eyes rolled back, she fell forward, and off the couch.

"Help! We need a doctor in here!" She yelled as she bent down to prop Barbra up, who began seizing. Thirteen and Chase ran into the room.


	3. Chapter 3 Threats

[Author's Note/Disclaimer: Hola. Yes, I made Babs the patient. I love her, in case someone forgot. I don't own the House characters. Though, I think I may own Barbra Streisand. :D]

Thirteen held the small woman down so she couldn't hurt herself, while she yelled out stats.

"BP is dropping. Heart rate is dropping!" She watched the monitor as her and Chase got Barbra back onto her bed. The monitor held out a long beep noise.

"Patient's crashing! We need a crash cart in here!" Chase hollered and pulled the hospital gown down off her. The nurses ran in with the defibrillator.

"Mom?" Jason walked into the room to see doctors scattering over her. "Oh my god. What -"

"Get him out!" Thirteen yelled and a nurse quickly escorted him out. Chase held the paddles together.

"Charging." He place the paddles on her body. "Clear!" Thirteen jumped back and electricity jolted the woman's body upward. Her heartbeat raised, and faltered again. Thirteen turned the electricity up.

"Charging." Chase yelled out again. Jim stood in the background, holding Celine, who had her back turned, and holding onto Jim for dear life. "Clear!" Chase called out. Her heart rate came from 0 to 25 to 50 to 70, where it steadied. Chase and Thirteen looked up at each other quickly, and Chase wheeled her bed out of the room to get her into ICU. Thirteen faced Jim who was about to take off, and she grabbed his arm.

"We need to know everything. What's been brought here, what she's eaten, what she's allergic to." She informed as professionally as possible.

"Let me go see her." He spit through his teeth, staring at the security outside the door and back at Thirteen.

"This is important." She assured him. Celine slowly turned around and faced her.

"We've had threats that people were after us." She admitted. "I did not think that it was serious. We had that many times, but it recently started again." She spoke quietly, and her accent made it difficult to decipher what she was saying.

"Vous etes plus a l'aise en Francais?" Thirteen asked her helpfully. Celine's head turned up immediately. Jim looked irritated and Thirteen held up her hand pleading for a moment.

"Oui, Je vous remercie. J'ai encore les lettres et les articles qu'ils ont envoyé. Je ne suis pas.." Celine trailed off. She took a deep breath. "Je n'ai jamais pris les menaces aussi graves. Oh mon dieu. Et ils ont envoyé des lettres Barbra trop ..." Her eyes widened at her horrible thought. Thirteen nodded, and looked up at Celine intently.

"We need you to get that here as soon as possible – in bags. All of it." She looked her seriously in the eyes.

"I will make calls. It will be done immediately." Celine nodded with tears streaking her face. Thirteen left the room and listened as Celine gave Jim the run-down of what she thinks is going on. She was just about to the elevator when she heard a thump. She sprinted back in the direction of the room when she heard Jim yell for a doctor. He had her cradled in his arms, her totally unconscious, and she started seizing.

"What the hell is this!" Jim yelled. Thirteen stood in the hallway, watching this man lose two women at once.

"Get them isolated. Bacterial meningitis." House yelled from his office to his team in another room. He threw his tennis ball against the wall and caught it again.

"How can we do that? Her husband has no symptoms of meningitis, and Dion is pregnant." Foreman argued.

"Remove the parasites so you can treat the host. Then treat the parasites for meningitis." He stated again, indifferently, tossing the tennis ball, and this time missing the catch. It rolled under Taub's foot and he picked it up.

"You can't remove them this early. That could be detrimental. Their immune systems aren't strong enough, House. You know that." Foreman countered. Taub threw the ball back to House.

"If they have meningitis, we were exposed. As were nurses. That photographer. Family. Friends. What are we going to say? Put out an Ad saying 'Anyone within eyeshot of Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion in the past day get to a hospital because you could die'?"

House sighed. "Becoming a daddy to two different women must make you have a soft spot for babies." He remarked. "Get consent to do a C-Section on the Canadian, and start treating Mrs. Focker for bacterial meningitis."

"What about anthrax exposure. Celine said they were getting threats. The suspected items are being sent up from Florida." Chase suggested. Thirteen nodded in agreement.

"That's possible too. Treat them for both." House said.

The team left the room, to treat both patients for anthrax exposure and meningitis..


	4. Chapter 4 Consent

_Chapter Four_

_Author's Note: Heeey. -My ghetto hello. Nobody reads this, really, but I don't give two shits. I love writing it. Anyway. Next chapter – HOLY SMUT. [: Cuddy and House, or Chase and Thirteen, or Cuddy and Thirteen? :D Leave comments. I have three versions written, and you tell me which to post. SPOILER ALERT: I will be killing off soon. You better read this. Because I'm wasting a lot of fucking time, man._

* * *

><p>-Thirteen walked in to the isolation chamber, covered from head to toe in precautionary uniform. Celine was asleep, hooked up to oxygen, with her husband by her side dressed the same as Thirteen. Barbra was on the other side of the curtain with nobody there. Thirteen carried the new IV bag and replaced Celine's. Her husband, Rene, met Thirteen's eyes.<br>"I give consent for the C-section." He nodded. "Can you go and tell my wife's sister and my son this situation, please?"  
>"Oui. Je vais avoir les formulaires de consentement pour vous, peu de temps." Thirteen half smiled and shook his hand. He nodded once. She headed toward the door.<p>

"Darling?" A voice from the other side of the curtain called. Thirteen raised and eyebrow, and Rene nodded at her. Two other doctors came in the room with Chase, who had the consent form for R  
>ene to sign. Thirteen felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around to see Cuddy.<p>

"I'd like to talk to you for a moment." Lisa Cuddy turned and walked out of the room. Thirteen peeked behind the curtain.

"I'll be right with you." She said quickly, and walked out of isolation. She threw off her gloves, and took off the thing that went over her head so she could breathe clean, cool air. Cuddy did the same.

"I got consent from Celine's husband, and I'm waiting on consent from Barbra, who is having issues with -" Her voice got quieter as she watched Cuddy's face until she was totally quiet. She tensed, visibly. Waiting for Cuddy to speak. Both exhaled at the same time.

"I'm so sorry." Cuddy said quietly. Thirteen nodded once and they kept walking.

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><p><em>-Sorry it was so short. Nobody cares, but I'm sorry. I'm still writing today. This is just a little piece. I'm literally writing as we speak.<em>


	5. Chapter 5 Fever

_Chapter Five_

_Author's Note: Heeey. Another ridiculously short chapter. I'm sorry. If anybody gives a damn.  
><em>

* * *

><p>-<p>

"Look after her for me. I am taking my son and Celine's sister to a hotel. If she wakes, let her know." Rene took Celine's hand between his, and then released her. He went on the other side of the curtain, and did the same to Barbra, since it was the most intimate touch possible with the uniform he was wearing. She nodded, and turned back to her book. She turned to watch him walk away, and remembered there were curtains covering every inch of window in the isolation chamber. There were two doctors in the room at all times. Chase was one, and the other was a new doctor, Masters, who sat quietly, the reading patient charts over and over. Barbra got up and pulled the curtain from around her, cutting of view from her and Celine to the doctors.

"Uh, I don't think-" Chase started to say. Barbra exhaled loudly, and he shut his mouth. She walked over to Celine in their matching hospital gowns. She sat on the side of Celine's bed, and brushed back Celine's hair, only to find she was awake. Barbra made a sympathetic click noise.

"You look like people are living in your uterus." She noted. Celine half smiled and closed her eyes again. Barbra put her hand on Celine's forehead.

"Can you give her something for fever?" Barbra called out. The curtain opened, and Chase stood in front of Celine with a thermometer. Foreman walked in at that exact moment.

"103.3. Get her to the OR. STAT." He yelled and flew out of the isolation room, flinging his over-clothes into a bin. He blew straight past Cuddy's office with a glance, and halting to a dead stop after not believe what he just think he saw. He backed up a few steps and glanced in again. When he realized his eyes were correct, he tried to focus and ran off again.

* * *

><p>Thirteen pushed Cuddy into the wall, and wrapped her arms around her neck.<p>

"You don't know what you're doing." Cuddy breathed heavily, holding Thirteen's hair. "I have a child, and I'm pregnant. I'm overworked. I'm old. I'm -" Her efforts to cut Thirteen off were cut of with Thirteens mouth against hers. Cuddy pulled her closer, and grabbed her hips. Their hands ran through each others hair viciously.

"YOU don't know what you're getting into." Thirteen breathed against Cuddy's mouth. "I'm dying. I'm a wreck. I'm pregnant and I-" Cuddy silenced Thirteen with a tight kiss. Thirteen's hands flew to Cuddy's shirt and unbuttoned her jacket. Cuddy reached down and pulled on the stubborn button on Thirteen's jeans. "I've never done this before." Cuddy whispered roughly. Thirteen bit her neck, and pulled off Cuddy's blouse. "I'll take my chances." They crashed into Cuddy's personal bathroom, and kicked the door shut.


End file.
